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South Florida Sun Sentinel (May 3, 2005) - 5/8/05

Runaway bride may have to face up to some unhappy returns By Lisa J. Huriash Staff Writer May 3, 2005 The Lenox salt and pepper shakers ($36.99 each) have to go back. So does the $110 salad bowl. The nonstick griddle ($49.99) and the blender ($99.99) -- they have to go, too. That's the verdict of the etiquette pros regarding runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks and her extensive gift registries. Wilbanks, 32, is the Duluth, Ga., woman who disappeared April 26, four days before her wedding date. "She needs to return every single item with a note -- a handwritten note," said Elizabeth Howell, spokeswoman for the Emily Post Foundation. "The note should say `Thank you so much for sending me the Lenox china. Unfortunately I have to send it back because our wedding has been postponed. Thanks so much for thinking of us. Best wishes, Jennifer and John.' "Obviously it will be a huge undertaking, so she should get the help of her 14 bridesmaids and her mother and her father and her ushers and they can help write the notes." On Monday, John Mason, Wilbanks' fiance, said he still wants to marry her, telling Fox News he's "not backing down" from his commitment. The local prosecutor in Duluth said he will conduct a thorough investigation, which could take weeks, into whether to charge Wilbanks with falsely claiming she had been kidnapped. Meanwhile, authorities are weighing whether to sue Wilbanks to recover the estimated $40,000 to $60,000 cost of searching for her. Wilbanks' lavish 600-guest wedding was to happen after eight showers -- with surely even more gifts. The couples' 155-item online registry at Macy's -- the 155 doesn't include multiples, such the 12 Lenox dishes, 12 Lenox soup bowls and two bed trays -- was almost complete. Only a few items -- the Lenox large platter ($189.99) and a Waterford ice bucket ($250) -- remain. Imagine the expense of returning all that heavy china. "The poor girl," Howell said. That includes the Lenox gravy boat ($111.99 -- plus stand for another $58.49, both on sale), two Lenox serving bowls ($97.99 on sale), the Lenox medium platter ($148.99 on sale), a Waterford pitcher ($225), an egg-slicer ($14.99) and a meat thermometer ($14.98). Alice K. Villar, a Miami-based wedding planner, knows firsthand the angst of brides who panic. A client three years ago canceled her 125-guest event only a couple of months before. The bride was registered at Williams-Sonoma. "She sent it all back saying it was going to be postponed," Villar said. That woman lost a bit of face -- and $7,000 in nonrefundable deposits for the caterer, photographer, invitations and band. She had also ordered her dress custom made from Paris. "The gifts were very low priority. They had other emotional situations to deal with." For Wilbanks, her situation could mean parting with a chrome coffee maker ($149.99) a food processor ($199.99) and plenty of muffin trays: a six-piece, a 12-piece and a 24-piece. And that's just Macy's. She is also registered at Williams-Sonoma (where guests have bought cookbooks and shelf liners) and Pottery Barn (a cheese dome, a vase and platter). Rachel Safier may have a place for Wilbanks to turn for moral support. After she called off her own wedding two weeks before the date, she wrote a book, There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling It Off and Moving On and started a Web site, www.theregoesthebride.com. Online, women can chat with others who got cold feet. She understands Wilbanks' desperation, but still: "She should have left her John a Dear John letter."

Past press on 'There Goes the Bride' below.

Find it on Amazon.com



There Goes
The Bride

by Rachel Safier
with Wendy
Roberts, LCSW
(Jossey-Bass,
2003).
In bookstores
this April.

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